Jul. 4th, 2012

simoriah: (Default)
He is just a boy toy......friends with benefits.  For goodness sakes, he fucking 21.  I was 14 when he was BORN.  I can't be interested in this guy.  His mother is an overly Christian woman and can never know of me.  He is good with being a friend with benefits but in truth, even if he wanted something more I couldn't deal with the reality of it.  FFS, his main goal in life is to be a "house husband".  And he said that I would be the one supporting him.  

So why am I hurt that he didn't invite my fat easily burned ass to the beach tomorrow?  SEASIDE, no less?  I hate Seaside.  I get a headache thinking about that place.  Yes, THAT Seaside:


Let's face it.  If I go, I would be the old fuddy duddy in the back going, "Oh, STFU already with your Brooklyn Accent".

So I talked to him, and it turns out he was asking me what I was going tomorrow and when I responded "no Cash" he thought better than to invite me.  But he wanted to, and he thought of me.  I appreciate that.  Makes me feel better that he is also asking all of Fetlife to go.  And again, we are not together.  He has every right to invite/be with whoever he wants.  

Dunno how much I can keep this sex thang going with me already getting jealous over nothing.  I guess it is better I acknowledge, analyze and move on so I deal with it now.  He will text/call me in the morning.  Just because.... :)

simoriah: (Default)
Had a vivid dream last night.  Or, maybe it was two.  I am not sure and I wanted to write them out so that I can maybe remember them.

Cut for adult content )

The second dream, or second part, was me taking a trip with my friends Pam and John, who are newly engaged.  We went to a place in New England where his mom was staying.  Another big house with many guests (it could very well have morphed into a really big New England house).  For some reason, I remember being already there; there wasn't a trip up, per se.  It was a Saturday night.  John's parents were making dinner, and I had walked into another, less people filled area off the room to talk to one of my friends from New England, a guy named Luke.  He lives in Boston, but we were in a more rural area of NE.  I then remember that I had taken plenty of pictures of the wedding place and decorations (for some reason in NE even tho the wedding is in NJ), and I went to show all of John's family about them.  John's family (in the dream) was very standoffish about the pictures, asking me why I took so many.  I advised that if nobody else, Pam's mom would appreciate all of the pictures and the detail.  Then I started cooking breakfast.  I just know it was either during or after dinner, but nobody noticed or cared that I made my own breakfast.  Scrambled Eggs and French Toast.  Weird I remember that.  That Sunday, I was going to Bar Harbor, ME.  I think I was all by myself, and I must have been delusional to think I could make it back by Monday morning work.  Really big indoor jump.  Ended with phone call from Ira where I was telling him off.  


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