Jul. 7th, 2012

simoriah: (Default)
Well, it is far too early in the morning for me to be up.  But, that is what happens when you get a monster case of heartburn.  At work.  With no access to the stuff I usually use to cure it (Arm & Hammer).  I swear it is a miracle drug for that.  Anyway, I was at work today.  Stressed out over one clients's problems after another.  Probably needed a little bit more "grus-fraba" zen conversation and a lot less "fuck this fuck that".  My computer program crapped out on me three times that day.  I was PISSED!!  Also, I had battered onions.  I will never have those again.  Anyone see me with those, please for the love of the Gods SLAP them out of my hand.  Last time I had them, the same thing happened.  I think it is a combo of the gas that onions cause and the acid reflux.

Anyway, I went down for my usual lunch break and I guess because I was so stressed at work, I didn't realize how bad my heartburn was.  REALLY bad.  I couldn't sit.  It was so bad, I was vomiting.  Not like last time where I really lost my entire easter dinner over fried onions (again with the fried onions) but I took my shirt off anyway.  That, and I was hot as hell.  I actually came back late from lunch.  I am glad nobody noticed I was gone; I will probably have to send an email to pigface about it since she wasn't there.  Like last time, I ended up taking 8 tumlike pills (and throwing them all up) And a digestion pill (Also, probably thrown up).  I was in so much pain I don't know how I drove home.  Then I came home and took my pepto bismol (helped a little) and a glass of Arm n hammer water (did nothing) and I went to sleep at 8 PM to Doctor Who? (new series).  So anyway, I am finally feeling fine NOW, after all that.  I was a little scared before when a friend of mine suggested it was a symptom of a heart attack.  But, then I thought about it, and reviewed the symptoms online.  My cholesterol level has vastly improved with this diet.  And same with my blood pressure (tho yesterday I am sure it was through the roof).  Also, my throat actually hurts.  Physically feels like I drank acid.  And in reality, that is what happened.   

I decided to take a respite from eating actual food for a day, and may stick to just broth.  My fat ass will survive.  Besides, now I got to cut even MORE food from my diet.  I cannot eat any sort of fast food without getting sick unless it is Wendy's and even then, one part of the meal must be a salad.  Also, I cut out a lot of breads, cakes, cookies and such as of this week.  Trying to do the low carb low sugar thing because I notice that my body feels better without those things.  It is either that or take a pill for antacid.  And call me crazy, but....if my body is having heartburn over certain foods, isn't this my body saying "Stop eating these foods"?  I'd rather make changes now than end up like my coworker.  Horrible neuropathy in her arms and legs, she's got severe diabetes and she is still addicted to sugar.  Granted, she is an addict, and she gave up alcohol and cocaine, so for her, sugar is the least of her issues.  But still.  I don't want that in my life.  I have always been careful with tobacco and alcohol and weed consumption, as well as prescription drugs.  The only issue I have left is my weight and my eating issues.  This heartburn is just a recent development (THANK YOU, TOPAMAX AGAIN!!).
simoriah: (Default)
So, I finally told my stepmom about the cheating SOB did on me.  And the Christmas story.  She does not know about the drug dealing or any of that nonsense, but she knows enough.  And she can't stand SOB now.  Truly, she could not stand the fact that he would leave me to take care of SD while we were camping together, and she could not stand the fact that SD was merely a small concern for SOB.  That he regarded her as a "nuisance".  Anyway, she detested the fact that on top of all this, I was still friendly with him (for the sake of SD, that she knows) and that if I had any self respect, I would never consider him again.  And I assured her, I was dating again (though there was not much out there) and this was only if a miracle occurred.

Then my stepmom mentioned that my cousin was back with his now ex-wife.  She left him a little before SOB and I broke up.  And a year and a divorce later, she figured out that the grass was not greener on the single side.  My stepmother and aunt think she left my cousin for another guy because she wanted to sow her wild oats more, and I guess couldn't do it with him.  (she must be a special kind of stupid; my cousin is a great guy with a great steady job as an airline mechanic).  Needless to say, something must have happened, since she is back with my cousin.  And I said to my stepmom, "There's no way I could ever take someone back like that.  As if to say, "well my first choice didn't work out so you are still around.  Good old you."  And my stepmom gave me this look of "Pot calling the kettle black?"  And I knew what she meant.  Even though I broke up with SOB, he was cheating on me both with his dick and his wallet.  All the while he was sleeping with his ex behind my back, and making lots more money doing drugs than he was giving me.  Both for the bills and for gifts.  Mother fucker never bought me anything for Christmas until the last year we were together, and then it was a $100 Visa gift card (it's the though that count; OH WAIT!!).  And even last year until he was arrested for DUI, he was a drug runner and a drug dealer.  After all that happened, he tried coming back to me. When shit was bad.  I think the fact that I am sitting here broke with $9 in my checking account while he was living the "high" life because he had a car he could drive (LOL he was 34 it's about time).  

Anyway, I started watching Doctor Who, the new series.  [livejournal.com profile] vampiric_angel got me addicted to the show.  I just finished Season 1, and I cannot stop thinking about Mickey and Rose's relationship.  I could definitely sense the love and the chemistry between them.  Good acting.  (plus, you know I think he is gorgeous, right?).  Mickey is one of the characters that got me through the first season, as I was initally amazed they cast a man of color to play Rose's boyfriend and general family friend (you see the history they have together in one of the episodes as Mickey is a little boy and Rose is a baby).  Of course, I got it all wrong - according to wikipedia (and numerous other sources, as I was nerding last night) "The character's dubious personality traits were made evident; both Davies and Clarke postulated that the character "deserved to lose his girlfriend".".  And see, I didn't look at it like he was a clown.  Like he was a neighborhood "bloke" who ignored his girlfriend to watch football in the pub (in this case, football=soccer).  I never saw him like that.  Therefore I was really upset that she didn't stay behind in a few of the episodes (of course she couldn't; there wouldn't be a show without a beautiful blond).  And I also got mad at her for kissing the Doctor in the final episode of the first season (there was a reason for it other than love, but anyway).  But apparently he finally "matures".  I didn't know he had to.  And this disturbs me.  Granted, this is all a show but it really did bother me that I missed that part.  Like, I should be able to spot the negative characteristics by now in men.  :( I don't get it.  And I will be dwelling on this all weekend, all the while lamenting my brokedness and sipping on broth.  

Oh, and I forgot to mention.  Along with the boy toy, I started talking to this new guy down in FLA.  He IS actually looking to move and actually went to high school in NJ.  But I am not thinking that far yet, though we seem to have a LOT in common, and this is more than I normally get out of a guy recently...

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