Jul. 8th, 2012

simoriah: (Default)
Of all the things I was worried about changing....job, location, love life....the one thing I didn't think about having to change, being "Forced" to change....was myself.  In terms of dieting and exercising, anyway.  

Then yesterday happened.  I am doing my best to "never" do that again.  That was too painful.  Even now, my throat still hurts.

And today, I went without eating for a good 24 hours to make sure I was fully digested.  And then I was actually hungry.  So, I went and bought the Wonton soup.  I finished that in less than 2 hours.  I broke it up by hour.  

Then I had a can of creamed corn.  Then I had sugar free pudding.  And I am still hungry.  But I refuse to eat anymore.  This is simply not natural.  It's like my body forgot what a portion size is.  Or what a "normal" meal is supposed to be like.  And that it's one thing to snack but in terms of hunger, don't eat when you are not hungry.  This sounds crazy but how many of us eat when we are other than actually hungry?  My biggest issue is that I eat before going out.  Like I will starve or something.  With my fat ass.  Am I crazy?

Doesnt help that I keep looking at different baking recipes.  Now I am starving.  And not going to eat.  Just waiting for the hunger pangs to go through.  I need to do this more often.  

Also, I want to be able to add yoga into my life more often.  And walking.  I have figured out I hate being in a gym.  I feel like a gerbil.  But I like dancing, and hiking, and walking, and yoga.  I have all the equipment for yoga, thats for sure.
simoriah: (Default)
I logged into my Myspace account, for shits and giggles, since I have been talking with this guy from FLA who had his myspace linked to his Facebook.  So, for shits and giggles, I checked to see if that account was still active.  Yes, I still had that account, but the account AND the email address it was linked to were both closed.  Remember my old email address was compromised in 2005 so I had to move all of my stuff over.  Seemed like a lifetime ago.  But it was the result of an asshole I was fucking at the time.  

I also got a Pinterest account.  Barely used it since I opened it.  Still waiting to get hopelessly addicted to it like everyone else I know who is on it.

So I got to thinking as to WHY this whole Mickey thing is bothering me again?  Usually it ends up being some sort of repressed memory pain or some bullshit....I certainly was never in Rose's position.  However, I began to remember about how my high school love, VG and I broke up.  He went into the navy after he broke up with me, and I was dating another man but still pining for him (only a secret he knew about).  And then he left to for training....and came back only to tell me he wasn't ready for a commitment.  He actually told me he wanted to fuck women all around the world before he even considered marriage.

This would not have hurt me so much if 6 months later he didn't get married.  Supposedly they are still together.  I wish them all the best, hell if she can put up with him then yay for her.  I can tell he's still an asshole by what he tried to pull when I got home and was working at Friendly's.  

Anyway, I talked with a friend about it and I see both points of view.  Rose was already unhappy, otherwise she would not have gone.  She actually wanted Mickey to come but he wouldn't and he couldn't accept the "changed" Rose from her returning from her time travel jaunts.  But, she was wrong in keeping coming back to him.  It should have been a clean break, or none at all.  Anyway, I am going to check out Torchwood.  I need some cheap, tawdry fun somewhere in my life.
simoriah: (Default)
Found this on [livejournal.com profile] contentcontempt's friend's page from 2007 and now I will be doing this.  5 years later.  LOL

You're on my friends list. I'd like to know 26 things about you. I'll screen the comments so no worries there :). Thanks!


You'll be surprised how much you didn't know about your friends after this!

Questions are random ya know.

1. Ever punch someone in the face?
Never in the face.  I'm not a violent person.  Sometimes I wish I was.

2. How old are you?
35.  Damn

3. Are you single or taken?
SINGLE!!!!

4. Eat with your hands or utensils?
Depends on the food

5. Do you have any recurring dreams at night?
They always center around the idea I will be with my "one true love" kinda crap.  It is what keeps me going through my roughest days.

6. Ever seen a corpse?
Yes, been to a few funerals so, yes.

7. Have you ever wished someone dead?
In the moment, yes.  Never a long term thing.

8. Do You Like Bush, the president?
You're kidding right?  NOOOO.  I do respect him more than I did as a 20 something but I will never like him.  He is a politician.

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

9. Whats your philosophy on life? and death?
I totally believe in reincarnation.  It may not happen right away, and normally it doesn't - souls need "vacations" between living lives.  Because living in a body, and dealing with other people, is tough work.  But here's the crazy thing I believe.  As souls get older, they get to choose either animal or human.  
If you think about it, we humans think we are the highest species on the planet.  In an reality, we think WAY too highly of ourselves.  Which is why, if souls had a choice, they'd be a wolf in the wild.  FAR away from so-called "civilization".   

10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know about it, what would it be?
Nothing exciting.  Maybe go to Colorado, that would be awesome. 

11. Do you trust the police?
Again, I judge on the individual.  With the police I am usually guarded (unless I am related to them) unless otherwise stated.

12. Do you like country music?
That would be a "NO" in terms of the genre.  I like "Alt" country music, which doesn't sound like country music.  I like rockabilly and Psychobilly, which is a mix of country music.  I like certain artists, depending on my mood.  Brantley Gilbert is a good one that isn't too "twangy".  Had more than my share of Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift, thank you SD.  Funny enough, I totally love places whose main music is country.  Mainly because I feel like I've totally escaped the clutches of NJ.

http://www.bigmachinemusic.com/video/brantley_gilbert-the_valory_music_co/country-must-be-country-wide-live
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve8sNTqrzCw

13. What is your fondest memory of me?
Anytime you talk about "Jordy" your daughter.  That's pure love right there.

14. If you could change anything about yourself would you?
Working on that now.  Yes I lost weight.  I want to lose more.  

15. Would you date me?
I don't think I am your type. :P

16. What do you wear to sleep?
Recently??? with this heat?  nothing

17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
That I never did.  Don't ask me about the ocean.

18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
Sure

19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Whatever you wanted.  Which I think would involve taking Jordy to Colorado to see your best friend.

20. What is your favorite thing about me?
You are very raw and honest.

21. Do you think I'm attractive?
Yes, I find you very attractive.

22. What's your favorite color?
varies between red and purple.

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
Hands down, my brother.  He would so be in his glory right now, with nerd culture being so "cool".

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
I am very terrified of spiders.  *looks around* Oh, and the day I was born, a huge quake happened in  Bucharest Romania.

25. what one question would you like to ask me? Anything!


26. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
sure if you want.

REPOST AS 'INTRODUCE YOURSELF

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simoriah

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