Jun. 13th, 2013

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So I've been working on part of the story in my head all day. This is part of the story is when a couple is first getting together and getting to know each other. At this point she knows im and understands him but she doesn't fully trust him due to prior experiences in her life. The couple is in the males bedroom at this point he's still living in his mother's house when is mothers working there is no danger of them getting caught together. For now I don't have names for the characters there for I'll just be calling them male and female I know how romantic.
Male and female were just getting done is having sex for the third time that day, and they're still fully naked and cuddling. Male's hands are wandering, exploring, all over her curvy body as she stares into his intense eyes. Then he asked her,
"Do you trust me?"
She doesn't know how to respond.  She's been hurt so many times before, so she's reluctant just put her trust in someone that she just met. On the surface, it seems that the male wants to show her just how much she means to him.  But truly, this was the first in a series of tests.  Tests to measure her devotion, how much can he really push her.
So he says to female, "Stand up.  Face the wall."
Female is reluctant but obediant.  She stands up and faces the cream walls with all of the pictures hung of beautiful women and Earth, Wind and Fire posters.  Male walks over to her and gets on his knees, right behind her.  She can feel his mouth as he starts to suck on her hip, right above her ample assets.  At first, it felt weird....the intense sucking on her body.  But at this moment, he could do anything to her and she would be happy, as he gave her the male attention, the desire she so craved.
Slowly, consciously, he makes a mark on the side of her body. Then he moved his mouth in order to make in order to form a hickey in the shape of a heart. Then he takes a polaroid of this.
"There." he says.  "This mark is proof that you belong to me now.  That I will take care of you, love and protect you for the rest of my life." Instead of being scared as most people would, female was strangly happy with this.  She was finally happy that someone wanted her, someone wanted to keep her as his own.  Although she is still wary of him, hearing those words make her feel far better. And the truth is, she has been looking for something to believe in.
Yeah when I finally put the phone in words the incident sounds a little psychotic. The idea for love story is that it is love story like no other.
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 So....I finally came up with the name for my male character.  Dean.  Strong name.  Taken from the 50's.  And since the bulk of the story may end up taking place in the late 70's / early '80's....(I toyed with the idea of this strong being a fiction story about what my true parents may have been like), Dean seemed to fit.  I was also thinking of making Dean's mother one of the bigger characters in the story.  She can be played by Rosie Perez.  Would make sense.  She would be the parent whose life was "messed up" by Dean, because naturally, in the early '60's teenage mothers were hidden away from the world.  She has spent half of her life chasing after loser men (one who badly abused Dean) and the other half, high on drugs.  Dean's Puerto Rican grandparents took care of him until they died; then he went to live full time with his mom when he was a teenager.  He didn't get much exposure to the African American side of his family.  

I can write about this guy all day.  And, in a way I guess this is good.  I am, still, worried about this meeting tomorrow.  But then again, I also understand that I am worrying for nothing.  The truth is, I try to anticipate these layoffs and no matter how hard I try, I still will be surprised the day (if/when) they come.  And I know this.  I guess I just don't want to make a scene in public.  I think I will be too shocked tho.  I may be taking the book "Surviving a Layoff" on the cruise.  But I also don't want to read it TOO much, as to bring the layoff on.  My stepmom thinks I am crazy, that there is no reason for me to worry.  

All I know was, I was crazy neurotic today.  Then, I came home and baked a cake.  And now, I feel much better.  Pissed off that a small part of the middle part of the cake fell off.  But, what am I gonna do?  I tried.


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