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This particular quote is about Rule #3 - Everyone in the World Makes Mistakes.  It doesn't have to ruin your day:

"The only way you're gonna learn is by doing, you've got to get on the stage and act, even if it means making mistakes."  This is why I have spent so much time going out there, meeting new people and dating so many men.  I just wanted to add experience in my life.  But I STILL get mad and over analyze my social mistakes.  I assume all the time I am the only one who makes them.  So, I learn all there is about "pop" culture, and the correct ways to use common slang, so I can get by and not look like a jackass.  Finally, when I turned 30, I realized I didn't need to give a funk about "modern" pop culture but with a teenage stepdaughter, I learned more than I ever cared too.  Still to this day, if people incorrectly use slang, it makes me twitchy.  

And I know these are all stupid little things for NT's/ normie's, but for me, I kinda want to know these things.  Ok, I am going to bed.  I swear.  I'm gonna need extra coffee tomorrow.
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 My environmentalism runs from "moderately nutty" to "extreme" and I'm a big believer in "simple

living" and DIY. I do still have a (non-hybrid, tho I WISH) car for commuting to work but attempt to

use the buses and trains as much as I can; so much more relaxing as well. I recycle everything but

foodstuffs and regularly donate unwanted goods and clothing to goodwill. I can say that except for

one of my beds, everything in this apartment was bought either at a garage sale or family reused

(hey, it's recycling). I reuse spaghett/salsai jars for baking stuff. When I HAD the funds, all of my food,

makeup, hair care, and cleaning products were organic/all-natural; now, I am learning to make my

own cleaning products without the crap in it. Looking at that last paragraph, I don't know whether to

be proud or....sad,

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Today serves as a further reminder that I need to experience life outside NJ.  And why do u ask?  What is so craptastic about NJ?  Well, let's see. 
- You actually have to pay to go anywhere.  Not just gas; the two main highways that criss cross the state are toll roads.  Also, in order to leave the state, you have to pay another toll.  And forget going to NYC.  The cheapest way for me to go to NYC is by bus from my place, and that is $25.  Otherwise, I take a train and pay more for parking.  I did not even get into paying for touristy stuff in NYC since, it is to be expected that stuff is uberexpensive. 
- You have to pay for parking.  I have learned to suck up the inevitable parking meters in practically every city.  What I'm talking about is the $10 or more parking spots at the shore.  I know I need to expect paying $20 or more for parking in a major city.  but the shore?  wtf??
- you need to pay to use the beach.  Sometimes as much as $10 for a day pass. 

 

Imagine my surprise when I went to California, went to the Santa Monica Pier, and asked, "How much are beach tags?". Nothing.  Squat.  Zilcherino.  I didn't even pay for parking!!  not even a meter!!  In LA, which I am sure is overpriced in its own regard but still. 
not that I would live in or move to LA.  Maybe San Diego but I.gotta try the place out. or Anywhere on the West coast. 

 

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

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People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

~credited to Mother Teresa



SPELL TO CALL THE WIND 

This is a simple call to the Wind when you feel threatened, frustrated, angry, or the like. 
When you recite this, hold out your arms in welcome to the Wind, and, of course, feel. 
'Strong gusts of Sweet Nature's Life 
Soft scented stillness to calm all strife 
Blow for me, breathe for me 
Sweeping all evil away 
Blow for me, breathe for me 
In dark winter night or bright summer day' 
_ Khahani

simoriah: (Default)
Found this on [livejournal.com profile] contentcontempt's friend's page from 2007 and now I will be doing this.  5 years later.  LOL

You're on my friends list. I'd like to know 26 things about you. I'll screen the comments so no worries there :). Thanks!


You'll be surprised how much you didn't know about your friends after this!

Questions are random ya know.

1. Ever punch someone in the face?
Never in the face.  I'm not a violent person.  Sometimes I wish I was.

2. How old are you?
35.  Damn

3. Are you single or taken?
SINGLE!!!!

4. Eat with your hands or utensils?
Depends on the food

5. Do you have any recurring dreams at night?
They always center around the idea I will be with my "one true love" kinda crap.  It is what keeps me going through my roughest days.

6. Ever seen a corpse?
Yes, been to a few funerals so, yes.

7. Have you ever wished someone dead?
In the moment, yes.  Never a long term thing.

8. Do You Like Bush, the president?
You're kidding right?  NOOOO.  I do respect him more than I did as a 20 something but I will never like him.  He is a politician.

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

9. Whats your philosophy on life? and death?
I totally believe in reincarnation.  It may not happen right away, and normally it doesn't - souls need "vacations" between living lives.  Because living in a body, and dealing with other people, is tough work.  But here's the crazy thing I believe.  As souls get older, they get to choose either animal or human.  
If you think about it, we humans think we are the highest species on the planet.  In an reality, we think WAY too highly of ourselves.  Which is why, if souls had a choice, they'd be a wolf in the wild.  FAR away from so-called "civilization".   

10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know about it, what would it be?
Nothing exciting.  Maybe go to Colorado, that would be awesome. 

11. Do you trust the police?
Again, I judge on the individual.  With the police I am usually guarded (unless I am related to them) unless otherwise stated.

12. Do you like country music?
That would be a "NO" in terms of the genre.  I like "Alt" country music, which doesn't sound like country music.  I like rockabilly and Psychobilly, which is a mix of country music.  I like certain artists, depending on my mood.  Brantley Gilbert is a good one that isn't too "twangy".  Had more than my share of Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift, thank you SD.  Funny enough, I totally love places whose main music is country.  Mainly because I feel like I've totally escaped the clutches of NJ.

http://www.bigmachinemusic.com/video/brantley_gilbert-the_valory_music_co/country-must-be-country-wide-live
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve8sNTqrzCw

13. What is your fondest memory of me?
Anytime you talk about "Jordy" your daughter.  That's pure love right there.

14. If you could change anything about yourself would you?
Working on that now.  Yes I lost weight.  I want to lose more.  

15. Would you date me?
I don't think I am your type. :P

16. What do you wear to sleep?
Recently??? with this heat?  nothing

17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
That I never did.  Don't ask me about the ocean.

18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
Sure

19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Whatever you wanted.  Which I think would involve taking Jordy to Colorado to see your best friend.

20. What is your favorite thing about me?
You are very raw and honest.

21. Do you think I'm attractive?
Yes, I find you very attractive.

22. What's your favorite color?
varies between red and purple.

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
Hands down, my brother.  He would so be in his glory right now, with nerd culture being so "cool".

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
I am very terrified of spiders.  *looks around* Oh, and the day I was born, a huge quake happened in  Bucharest Romania.

25. what one question would you like to ask me? Anything!


26. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
sure if you want.

REPOST AS 'INTRODUCE YOURSELF
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I logged into my Myspace account, for shits and giggles, since I have been talking with this guy from FLA who had his myspace linked to his Facebook.  So, for shits and giggles, I checked to see if that account was still active.  Yes, I still had that account, but the account AND the email address it was linked to were both closed.  Remember my old email address was compromised in 2005 so I had to move all of my stuff over.  Seemed like a lifetime ago.  But it was the result of an asshole I was fucking at the time.  

I also got a Pinterest account.  Barely used it since I opened it.  Still waiting to get hopelessly addicted to it like everyone else I know who is on it.

So I got to thinking as to WHY this whole Mickey thing is bothering me again?  Usually it ends up being some sort of repressed memory pain or some bullshit....I certainly was never in Rose's position.  However, I began to remember about how my high school love, VG and I broke up.  He went into the navy after he broke up with me, and I was dating another man but still pining for him (only a secret he knew about).  And then he left to for training....and came back only to tell me he wasn't ready for a commitment.  He actually told me he wanted to fuck women all around the world before he even considered marriage.

This would not have hurt me so much if 6 months later he didn't get married.  Supposedly they are still together.  I wish them all the best, hell if she can put up with him then yay for her.  I can tell he's still an asshole by what he tried to pull when I got home and was working at Friendly's.  

Anyway, I talked with a friend about it and I see both points of view.  Rose was already unhappy, otherwise she would not have gone.  She actually wanted Mickey to come but he wouldn't and he couldn't accept the "changed" Rose from her returning from her time travel jaunts.  But, she was wrong in keeping coming back to him.  It should have been a clean break, or none at all.  Anyway, I am going to check out Torchwood.  I need some cheap, tawdry fun somewhere in my life.
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Of all the things I was worried about changing....job, location, love life....the one thing I didn't think about having to change, being "Forced" to change....was myself.  In terms of dieting and exercising, anyway.  

Then yesterday happened.  I am doing my best to "never" do that again.  That was too painful.  Even now, my throat still hurts.

And today, I went without eating for a good 24 hours to make sure I was fully digested.  And then I was actually hungry.  So, I went and bought the Wonton soup.  I finished that in less than 2 hours.  I broke it up by hour.  

Then I had a can of creamed corn.  Then I had sugar free pudding.  And I am still hungry.  But I refuse to eat anymore.  This is simply not natural.  It's like my body forgot what a portion size is.  Or what a "normal" meal is supposed to be like.  And that it's one thing to snack but in terms of hunger, don't eat when you are not hungry.  This sounds crazy but how many of us eat when we are other than actually hungry?  My biggest issue is that I eat before going out.  Like I will starve or something.  With my fat ass.  Am I crazy?

Doesnt help that I keep looking at different baking recipes.  Now I am starving.  And not going to eat.  Just waiting for the hunger pangs to go through.  I need to do this more often.  

Also, I want to be able to add yoga into my life more often.  And walking.  I have figured out I hate being in a gym.  I feel like a gerbil.  But I like dancing, and hiking, and walking, and yoga.  I have all the equipment for yoga, thats for sure.
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So, I finally told my stepmom about the cheating SOB did on me.  And the Christmas story.  She does not know about the drug dealing or any of that nonsense, but she knows enough.  And she can't stand SOB now.  Truly, she could not stand the fact that he would leave me to take care of SD while we were camping together, and she could not stand the fact that SD was merely a small concern for SOB.  That he regarded her as a "nuisance".  Anyway, she detested the fact that on top of all this, I was still friendly with him (for the sake of SD, that she knows) and that if I had any self respect, I would never consider him again.  And I assured her, I was dating again (though there was not much out there) and this was only if a miracle occurred.

Then my stepmom mentioned that my cousin was back with his now ex-wife.  She left him a little before SOB and I broke up.  And a year and a divorce later, she figured out that the grass was not greener on the single side.  My stepmother and aunt think she left my cousin for another guy because she wanted to sow her wild oats more, and I guess couldn't do it with him.  (she must be a special kind of stupid; my cousin is a great guy with a great steady job as an airline mechanic).  Needless to say, something must have happened, since she is back with my cousin.  And I said to my stepmom, "There's no way I could ever take someone back like that.  As if to say, "well my first choice didn't work out so you are still around.  Good old you."  And my stepmom gave me this look of "Pot calling the kettle black?"  And I knew what she meant.  Even though I broke up with SOB, he was cheating on me both with his dick and his wallet.  All the while he was sleeping with his ex behind my back, and making lots more money doing drugs than he was giving me.  Both for the bills and for gifts.  Mother fucker never bought me anything for Christmas until the last year we were together, and then it was a $100 Visa gift card (it's the though that count; OH WAIT!!).  And even last year until he was arrested for DUI, he was a drug runner and a drug dealer.  After all that happened, he tried coming back to me. When shit was bad.  I think the fact that I am sitting here broke with $9 in my checking account while he was living the "high" life because he had a car he could drive (LOL he was 34 it's about time).  

Anyway, I started watching Doctor Who, the new series.  [livejournal.com profile] vampiric_angel got me addicted to the show.  I just finished Season 1, and I cannot stop thinking about Mickey and Rose's relationship.  I could definitely sense the love and the chemistry between them.  Good acting.  (plus, you know I think he is gorgeous, right?).  Mickey is one of the characters that got me through the first season, as I was initally amazed they cast a man of color to play Rose's boyfriend and general family friend (you see the history they have together in one of the episodes as Mickey is a little boy and Rose is a baby).  Of course, I got it all wrong - according to wikipedia (and numerous other sources, as I was nerding last night) "The character's dubious personality traits were made evident; both Davies and Clarke postulated that the character "deserved to lose his girlfriend".".  And see, I didn't look at it like he was a clown.  Like he was a neighborhood "bloke" who ignored his girlfriend to watch football in the pub (in this case, football=soccer).  I never saw him like that.  Therefore I was really upset that she didn't stay behind in a few of the episodes (of course she couldn't; there wouldn't be a show without a beautiful blond).  And I also got mad at her for kissing the Doctor in the final episode of the first season (there was a reason for it other than love, but anyway).  But apparently he finally "matures".  I didn't know he had to.  And this disturbs me.  Granted, this is all a show but it really did bother me that I missed that part.  Like, I should be able to spot the negative characteristics by now in men.  :( I don't get it.  And I will be dwelling on this all weekend, all the while lamenting my brokedness and sipping on broth.  

Oh, and I forgot to mention.  Along with the boy toy, I started talking to this new guy down in FLA.  He IS actually looking to move and actually went to high school in NJ.  But I am not thinking that far yet, though we seem to have a LOT in common, and this is more than I normally get out of a guy recently...

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Well, it is far too early in the morning for me to be up.  But, that is what happens when you get a monster case of heartburn.  At work.  With no access to the stuff I usually use to cure it (Arm & Hammer).  I swear it is a miracle drug for that.  Anyway, I was at work today.  Stressed out over one clients's problems after another.  Probably needed a little bit more "grus-fraba" zen conversation and a lot less "fuck this fuck that".  My computer program crapped out on me three times that day.  I was PISSED!!  Also, I had battered onions.  I will never have those again.  Anyone see me with those, please for the love of the Gods SLAP them out of my hand.  Last time I had them, the same thing happened.  I think it is a combo of the gas that onions cause and the acid reflux.

Anyway, I went down for my usual lunch break and I guess because I was so stressed at work, I didn't realize how bad my heartburn was.  REALLY bad.  I couldn't sit.  It was so bad, I was vomiting.  Not like last time where I really lost my entire easter dinner over fried onions (again with the fried onions) but I took my shirt off anyway.  That, and I was hot as hell.  I actually came back late from lunch.  I am glad nobody noticed I was gone; I will probably have to send an email to pigface about it since she wasn't there.  Like last time, I ended up taking 8 tumlike pills (and throwing them all up) And a digestion pill (Also, probably thrown up).  I was in so much pain I don't know how I drove home.  Then I came home and took my pepto bismol (helped a little) and a glass of Arm n hammer water (did nothing) and I went to sleep at 8 PM to Doctor Who? (new series).  So anyway, I am finally feeling fine NOW, after all that.  I was a little scared before when a friend of mine suggested it was a symptom of a heart attack.  But, then I thought about it, and reviewed the symptoms online.  My cholesterol level has vastly improved with this diet.  And same with my blood pressure (tho yesterday I am sure it was through the roof).  Also, my throat actually hurts.  Physically feels like I drank acid.  And in reality, that is what happened.   

I decided to take a respite from eating actual food for a day, and may stick to just broth.  My fat ass will survive.  Besides, now I got to cut even MORE food from my diet.  I cannot eat any sort of fast food without getting sick unless it is Wendy's and even then, one part of the meal must be a salad.  Also, I cut out a lot of breads, cakes, cookies and such as of this week.  Trying to do the low carb low sugar thing because I notice that my body feels better without those things.  It is either that or take a pill for antacid.  And call me crazy, but....if my body is having heartburn over certain foods, isn't this my body saying "Stop eating these foods"?  I'd rather make changes now than end up like my coworker.  Horrible neuropathy in her arms and legs, she's got severe diabetes and she is still addicted to sugar.  Granted, she is an addict, and she gave up alcohol and cocaine, so for her, sugar is the least of her issues.  But still.  I don't want that in my life.  I have always been careful with tobacco and alcohol and weed consumption, as well as prescription drugs.  The only issue I have left is my weight and my eating issues.  This heartburn is just a recent development (THANK YOU, TOPAMAX AGAIN!!).
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Had a vivid dream last night.  Or, maybe it was two.  I am not sure and I wanted to write them out so that I can maybe remember them.


Cut for adult content )
 

The second dream, or second part, was me taking a trip with my friends Pam and John, who are newly engaged.  We went to a place in New England where his mom was staying.  Another big house with many guests (it could very well have morphed into a really big New England house).  For some reason, I remember being already there; there wasn't a trip up, per se.  It was a Saturday night.  John's parents were making dinner, and I had walked into another, less people filled area off the room to talk to one of my friends from New England, a guy named Luke.  He lives in Boston, but we were in a more rural area of NE.  I then remember that I had taken plenty of pictures of the wedding place and decorations (for some reason in NE even tho the wedding is in NJ), and I went to show all of John's family about them.  John's family (in the dream) was very standoffish about the pictures, asking me why I took so many.  I advised that if nobody else, Pam's mom would appreciate all of the pictures and the detail.  Then I started cooking breakfast.  I just know it was either during or after dinner, but nobody noticed or cared that I made my own breakfast.  Scrambled Eggs and French Toast.  Weird I remember that.  That Sunday, I was going to Bar Harbor, ME.  I think I was all by myself, and I must have been delusional to think I could make it back by Monday morning work.  Really big indoor jump.  Ended with phone call from Ira where I was telling him off.  
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He is just a boy toy......friends with benefits.  For goodness sakes, he fucking 21.  I was 14 when he was BORN.  I can't be interested in this guy.  His mother is an overly Christian woman and can never know of me.  He is good with being a friend with benefits but in truth, even if he wanted something more I couldn't deal with the reality of it.  FFS, his main goal in life is to be a "house husband".  And he said that I would be the one supporting him.  

So why am I hurt that he didn't invite my fat easily burned ass to the beach tomorrow?  SEASIDE, no less?  I hate Seaside.  I get a headache thinking about that place.  Yes, THAT Seaside:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=065wFirVZgY

Let's face it.  If I go, I would be the old fuddy duddy in the back going, "Oh, STFU already with your Brooklyn Accent".

So I talked to him, and it turns out he was asking me what I was going tomorrow and when I responded "no Cash" he thought better than to invite me.  But he wanted to, and he thought of me.  I appreciate that.  Makes me feel better that he is also asking all of Fetlife to go.  And again, we are not together.  He has every right to invite/be with whoever he wants.  

Dunno how much I can keep this sex thang going with me already getting jealous over nothing.  I guess it is better I acknowledge, analyze and move on so I deal with it now.  He will text/call me in the morning.  Just because.... :)


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Ho hum....sitting in my apartment.  Not watching any fireworks but the ones on my Facebook feed.  Well, let's think about the GOOD things that have happened recently.  

1. The water's back to being drinkable at my job!!!  Pretty soon I was gonna start digging holes to find a damn water source.  It still has a nasty yellow tint, but I'm still alive.

2.  I got tomorrow off.  I hope I remember this tomorrow morning.  The way my short term memory has been, I doubt it.  (What's that leafy green vegetable in a can, Popeye used to eat.....oh SPINACH!!)

3. Warded off a big financial issue.  I found out I was supposed to be billed for something tomorrow and I called up in time to delay the payment.  I sure do hope the customer service agent did his job.  I really am not trying to be broke, and I am not trying to get a payday loan.  

Ok, so I was in the supermarket today, and I was about to buy more food, and then I stopped myself.  With the amount of food I ate today, I should be satiated for the rest of the day (I was a pig) but I felt like eating and eating.....so instead of wasting more $$ on food, which I tend to do.....and I thought about WHY.  WHY would I be stuffing my face even more when I didn't need to...where was this stemming from?

Well, I was homeless for a bit.  And when you are homeless, you do eat everything in site.  And I tend to do that a lot, thinking that I not encounter food for a while.  So, now you can say, I have a HUUUUUGE surplus.  I wonder if that still creeps into my thinking? I know I am a stress eater so that is definitely part of it.  But I think I have to do that from now on.  I hate overalalyzing things, but if I am going to eat healthier, I also need to eat less overall.  I think it will also help me in hiking in general.  It is a lot easier to hike around a skinny person rather than a fat person.  Duh.  

Well, looks like I got all day and tomorrow to think about it, don't I?

SOB

Jul. 1st, 2012 04:50 pm
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The next day, I dropped him home.  But not before I got the usual barrage of "I want to work things out, but you're too busy with your "friends" crap.  See, when we first started dating, all my (few) friends were in South Jersey.  Yes, I was going to some Pagan events with a local coven, but I didn't really "click" with a lot of the members.  A lot of them tend to be the hardcore new age hippie remnants who'd rather attend a "colon-and-aura" cleansing ritual rather than the latest movie.  Oh, sure, a lot of the different conferences I went to were awesome but on the whole?  I seriously cant imagine getting a past life regression on my kid done - with SD, she has enough on her plate from this life.  Anyway, I didn't have a ton of friends in this area at the time, so I was able to devote a lot of time and energy into our relationship.  Far more than he ever put in.  And I became fast friends with his cousins and his brother's now-ex gf.  And my social life revolved around that house (oh, that house of emotional poison).  

Fast forward 4 1/2 years, and I had lots more hangout buddies in this area.  Granted, they are younger, but somehow I can relate to them.  



The point is, I have friends/ acquaintances that I didn't have 6 years ago when we broke up.  And obligations to some of these people.  And others that still want to hang.  But of course, now SOB likes to make me feel guilty about having all of these friends when he keeps stating that he has NO friends and NO way to make new friends since he doesn't have a car and he doesn't have a license, and he doesn't live in an area with public transportation.  And he always wants to hang out and go somewhere.  Talk about not being happy at home....that's him.  

Well, I am glad to finally sit down and write about this.  It is certainly giving me food for thought about this issue.  It may not be that he wants to be in a relationship with me in terms of getting married and such.  Sounds as if he wants to use me for a) company, b) transportation, c) the obvious.  Maturity wise, I think he is still 17 and I have told him as such.  Also, I told him to work on his anger issues.  Yup, he still has those.  Anyway, both him and SD are good for contacting me when they need something.  And with him, I will be busy but with her, I'm still a sucker.  I can't help it, I helped take care of her for so long.  Well, at least I did start dating other people and putting myself out there.



simoriah: (Default)

Everything's Better and I'm not Happy )
Oh shit. I just aquired 9 bottles of differently flavored Faygo. Bwaha Whoop Whoop

Trust me when I say, this is a major life event for him.  Probably far more excitement than his two month relationship with a "Juggaposer" who later slept with a toothless whore and her "man".  Ugh, and I had to hear about it.  Exciting.  But then it got me thinking.  I sit and worry about money that I don't have trying to pay bills that are not due, as of yet.  Yes, this paycheck will be tight.  I have to pay my cell before I get it shut off and I also have to make a payment on my One Firestone account.  Oh, and rent.  Ugh.  But I should have $$ left over, and this is still far better than where I was at two months ago, paying on all of those payday loans.  Anyway, just one more month of this and I can start to live semi-normally again.  And my credit rating will improve.  I can do eeeeeeet!

Maybe if I thought of things from a far simpler perspective, I could be good.  I could never totally live like him, as a vagabond with no formal home, no car and no licence.  No job except odd jobs, and no bank accounts.  He goes to his grandpa for his cash.  (who probably puts it in a bank account.  Unless he has a special mattress for this sh*t).  But maybe, being happy for the simple things in life.  


Or, to put it another way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk&feature=share

So damn true!!  I remember the rotary phones and being amazed at answering machines.  LOL I thought we were rich because we had it.  So true: "It is an amazing world and it is being wasted on the crappiest generation of just spoiled idiots."  If my former SD could implant her phone in her arm she would and it would STILL not be enough.  And the phone is "too slow".

And now I feel better.  I am not as broke as I thought, and even if I am brokedy broke, I got food.  I got water.  I got gas in my car, that is being fixed.  I have a job, and if need be, I will suck it up and get another job.  And take more Topamax, which I have decided to use in case of emergency as a Xanex.  Seems to do the exact same thing on a much less stronger level.  (This according to the 
U.S. National Library of Medicine - The World's Largest Medical Library's website.  Interesting: It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain. (Same sentence from both drugs).  Lord knows I need the occasional Xanex with the job I have, and reading stories about actual live zombies:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/27/rudy-eugene-toxicology-te_n_1632253.html 

This was a horrific crime and I am not taking away from the homeless man's suffering.....So please

tell me why this line from the article makes me laugh, "A p
olice officer responding to multiple 911

calls shot and killed Eugene as he crouched over Poppo, reportedly refusing to stop the gruesome

assault by growling at the officer with Poppo's flesh in his mouth."

I should know.  I have an overly visual mind.  I know this.  And still, I read the story before bed.

 LOL now visions of people growling at police are in my head.

I need another goal when it comes to writing.  Starting to get stories in my head again.  Want to

write about them.  Just need the time.  Well, maybe this broke time is a good thing.  Well, I gotta

go to sleep.  Going to work an hour early to make up partially for leaving early.



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simoriah

August 2017

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