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yes, it is almost 2AM. I am still blogging. I am watching "you were meant for me" by jewel. Damn, I am old and in this video she is a baby. And of course, I understand further the symbolism of a woman losing her dress (like a snake shedding his/her skin). My favorite part of the video is when you see Jewel with her back facing the screen, and n her back is written "he says I feel like home to him". I have been searching for a man who felt like that for a long time. Of course, this also prompted the all-time dumbest quote from a man ever. My ex-Cruz (take me BACK!), upon hearing the description of the Jewel video, told me he felt that way about me....he said, "I may FUCK MAD BITCHES at International (Convention for CKI), but I will always come home to you.." I turned to him and said "yeah, you just don't get it."..

And, now, I am hoping that IT is the one that I feel like home to...But there is a more important reason I am sitting here at 2AM writing. I look at Jewel, in her early days, and thats exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to travel around in a van (OK maybe an RV), and just write stuff. Anything. And I want to learn how to play a guitar. Of course, I would talk my way through a song, since my singing can make a dying cat sound melodical. You know, I am still wondering how I got to the Corporate level like I did. I like my job now....it is a lot of work, but it pays just enough so that I can figure out what I want to do with my life on the weekends. And find a way to get paid for what I mentioned above. Or at least combine that with a "normal" life. Well, I certainly don't think I will be able to do that in NJ....but I will find a way to do this. Now that my Sundays are mostly free. I have already agreed to work for my coworkers on any Sundays they need off. Oh well...thats enough for the metal soapbox of the mid-90's, the grunge rocker teenager will get her chance another day. Looking at the video for "Who will save your soul", I feel so old.

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simoriah

June 2013

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