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So, yeah, just got off with my online banking. Thought I was gonna have a breakdown. See, I just got paid so all should be well, right? HAHAHA Thought I saw 2 payments going through to the rent people, not one. Hey wait a second - I got more bills to pay!!! Gosh I cannot wait until next paycheck, already!

Well, I can see that my SO finally did the pile of dishes sitting in the sink. I am so proud of him, he is slowly growing up! He even sees that I am home so he will take a break from FPS games and actually apply for jobs. Oh wait, I got to check to see if I won the lottery. The first time I bought in a LOOONG while. Well it was the first time that my office had a pool for it - that's really the only time I ever buy, since I do consider it to be a waste of time and savings. Trying to get onto the Megamillions website, and it is slow as sin. I cannot even blame my boyfriend this time since he is not online paying games. FINALLY!! It comes up. But with no numbers on the "results" page. I mean, wtf is the results page there for if it does not have results? Grrr.....try again. Ok, I won $2 so $2 / 15? 13 cents woohoo!!

SD is currently complaining we have nothing to eat here. We got flour water eggs sugar rice sofrito, I can safely say I can make breakfast out of it. She does not want anything. She does not like "OUR" pancakes. Ok then, starve child. (she's not starving dont worry).

Then she asks, "Why did you tint the screen so much?" For nosy 13 yos not to read what I am writing. :p It's ok, hormones are all the rage, right?

So is talking about moving to Texas yet again. I have had to learn that he is stuck in stall - all talk and no action. Meanwhile, I try not to say anything until the action happens. I am looking forward to moving to Texas tho, if it happens. But in a major city so my socially liberal behind is not alone

Vaaction to a Hot Sunny 3rd World Paradise )

SD is STILL hungry and does not see any food here she likes. Like some cheese with your wine? We have food. I am willing to make it for her (or, she is 13, she can mix it in a bowl and make it herself, she likes cooking...)but she does not want it. Grrr

Well, let's see, today is 100% guarantee it will rain. So, I guess I got a lot of stuff I got to do today. Laundry, cleaning, and all that fun stuff. Plus, maybe preparing for tomorrow when hopefully we will sell a lot of junk for $$. At least I got a break of work until monday!

simoriah: (Default)
I was just reading an entry on how another stepmother's bio parents let her do all of the grunt work as a parent, because they were too lazy to do it.  Then why give birth?  W are not running out of humans on this planet.  Matter of fact, I would daresay we need a little clorination of the gene pool. 

The other thing is, I am a weirdo.  I am Pagan, and have different values than other people in this world that consider themselves "Christian".  Therefore I would not want for anyone else to teach my kids certain values.  I mean, yes, potty-training is potty-training.  There is no religious aspect to this.  But even the simple things that you do with kids influence them.  I remember when SO and I first started dating and we took SD to the ocean all the time.  The beach is a godsend, esp state park beaches that do not have a boardwalk.  So, we are playing with the waves, and she was commenting how big they were (that day there were 2-4 ft swells, nothing too major).  And I told her the waves were 10x bigger in California. And I could hear her in the distance, telling people this when I walked away.  Something so little and it affected her.  

Especially when it comes to sex, and drugs, and religion, I do not want anyone but myself telling them about it.  The last thing I was is a born-again Christian telling my kids that sex is a sin, and it is evil, if you do it before marriage you will go to hell.  yeah, that type of shit will not fly with me.

Well, I am pretty much done with the budget for the week.  I am definetly going to need to sacrifice for the next few weeks, esp since SD will need clothes and such for back-to school.  Don't even want to go there at this point, since I do need to start thinking about what I do and do not need for my own self (shoes, bras, etc).  Well the bathroom is calling my name, but I might do it after both of us take our morning showers.  I also got to work on personal goals and such.  Never did that before, and actually made an impact so, I def gotta get to work.   
simoriah: (Default)

Well, I'm just a girl, in the world, in a rasberry swirl.

Woke up this morning with my car on "E" and it don't mean enough. So, Had to stop and get a 1.25 of gas. Yes, $1.25 of gas. Not that you have not done that before!

The started to rock out to John Mellencamp and Kaylynn called to check on Ira's herbal supplier. She cannot find anyone who sells any herbal essence. Guess the economy affects us in ways we would never know. To think, I thought herbs were a recession-proof business.

SO got himself an interview. Does not seem to understand that you still job hunt after scoring an interview. I know he does not want to work for a "Regular" company, which is fine. And I don't blame him. But, desperate times calls for drastic measures. At least pick up your last paycheck for crissakes. So I can pay for my bills.

So, why is Whitey McJoker doing a jig? What causes people to do such things on spur of the moment's notice?

SO was watching the "Posiedan" adventure, 2006 version last night. It was a compromise between the horror movies with nakes chicks that Ira likes and the movies that I like. Well, it only increases my fear of traveling on a boat, in the middle of an ocean, that the boat can just fall into the sea and capsize. I cannot even look at the sea without thinking about that. There is no way I could ever ride in a submarine for the same reason. Well, I would work on these fears but honestly I don't think I will ever have the $$ to go on a cruise. And that is ok with me.

So, I been thinking about the whole Jon Gosselin thing. Tha man becomes famous for being a "Family" man, makes a lot of $$, then takes this $$ and spends it on a $1 million apartment in Manhatten, over 3 hours away from his kids. He spends his time partying up in style, overseas and spending $$ on lavish gifts for his bimbo of the week. To me, that explains a lot as to why Kate was such a "bitch". I mean, I would be if I had 9 kids to raise, one of which I was married to. I could sit and critisize her for putting her kids in front of the camera like that, and although I would bever do that myself, who am I to say? I mean, she is getting a ton of $$ from the network, that is $$ that could be placed in a college fund for the kids. I hope someone is watching out for them, and not just TLC.

SO has a job intervew on Thursday. Which means that there maybe a chance he can still go to Texas. But if he does it will be a shortened trip. GREAT! I hope that by dumb luck this job starts late Sept but I would never be that lucky. So, this means I have 8.8 days, still, to use by the end of the year. Well, I guess this works out, since we will need those 10 extra bonus days next year for moving and such.

Still trying to figure out why I still like watching the movie "Twister". I already understand the troubled souls aspect of this. Helen Hunt is a troubled soul,, and she needed Bill more than she wanted him. I guess in the movie, it kinda changes and she sees she does not need him (hence the fact she signs the divorce papers). But then you see that Bill needs her in his life just as much if nothing more, then just to harness the unique gifts he has.

I am also starting to think that Helen Hunt's character is a bit Aspie. I understand that something happened in her youth so that she would be fearful of tornadoes. Most people move on, and mayve move to an area where tornadoes are not possible. She spends her whole life obsessing about them. Not only does she face her fear head on every day, but she actually punches the core of a few tornados. Also, Bill does mention in the movie that although she is very good at chasing otrnadoes she is in fact lousy at doing every day things like maintaining a house or doing anything normal. She has to find a way to reconcile the two. Of course, one does not see this in the movie since the movie is all about Twisters, not people.

One of the ways I find it fun to get through my day at work is to try to picture the people I am talking to on the other side of the phone. Some people are nice, some people are plain evil. Most people are pissed off when I talk to them until I calm them down at reassure them that I will assist them. In this case, Heavenly Hale aka LaFawnda Jackson gave me such an attitude it was not funny. prolly did not help her causse that she lives in the Bronx, and most likely grew up there (nobody movres to the Bornx out of "Will"). I could just see her on the other end of the phone. Cigarette on one hand phone in the other. Housecoat with flowers on, rollers in her hair, with mile long fake nails. But she broke by us. Gotta love it.

simoriah: (Default)

I havce so much to do, so much to say, so much to clean, so much to vent about. And right now, my mind is but a blur.


Black in America )

Ahh that was nice to get out after stewing about this all week. Wow. 3AM. Apparently, I needed to get this out. I was dissociating too much at work, and ready to kill SO over all this inability to vent.

It is hard to vent like this at work when the one thing you were using for all of your communication was shut down, albeit willingly. I am trying to find ways to save some $$. heck I am even tempted to open a new checking account with Bank of America just to get their $100 incentive package. I read the fine print. Everything seems typical, no "Firstborn child clause" or ahnything.


Twister )

This is funny to me, of course, since this is one things SO says to me all the time.  I like the fact that he does point out easier ways to do things; hopefully one day he will lose the condescencion. 

simoriah: (Default)
Sobering.  This is the only word that I can use for the following episode: 30 Days: Minimum Wage.  Morgan Spurlock, the guy from "Supersize Me", is the guy behind this whole series of "30 Days". 

the episode itself )

I approached this episode with a completely open mind - not judging anyone for not owning a car or living in a so-called "bad area".  (Edit: me saying that alone makes me sound like an ignorant white person).  I was so shocked at the fact that in this country, this country that still is a symbol of prosperity, that people are forced to live like this.  No wonder welfare and drugs would look good at that point - being that you feel as if there is no way out.  I mean they lived like this for 30 days - I cannot imagine having to live like this for life.  Now, I understand.  Kinda.   

Keep in mind, as I am watching this, I am not living the high life.  I live in a 400 square foot jr 1 bedroom.  A stuido with an incomplete wall.  I live here with my boyfriend.  Due to space constraints, we sleep on a twin bed.  This is not easy, since I am not a skiny person by any means, but it was easier than sharing a bed with a 300 pound exboyfriend (I was 50 lbs skinnier myself at that point).  I live on less than $2500 a month for myelf and less than $1000 additional from my boyfriend.  I have learned to cook a lot more.  Also, I had to think about the way I spend $$ all the time.  I sitll end up going through my savings, tho I have no plans to spend the rest of the littel $$ I have left.  Granted, before I got into my accident, I had no reason to spend $700 either. 

First of all, I realize now a lot of places where I am pissed $$ away.  Every day at work, they order out for lunch at the end of the month (when people's $$ runs out on their cards).  Also, I went out last night - albeit to spend time with my friend KD.  She only likes to spend time with me when we are having dinner/lunch.  Also, it cannot be at my place - we need to eat out.  I spent $97.  Granted, it was $15 KD.  Also, I had a $50 gift card.  Which was the reason that I chose Fridays in the first place.  But still - I have plently of food at home.  I had no reason to go out.  It is just a natural thing to want to get out of your surroundings and explore.  I think I have it a little too spoiled, and use my car for all its worth.  Which is good, but I can see that I gotta limit it.  Also, I have 3 ways to enjoy anything I want to watch on TV -, Cable TV and Netflix.  I forgot the real reason I enjoy TV - to learn.  

Another 30 days: life on a Navajo Ranch )  

Why American Life Can Suck )

Then I sit and stare at my boyfriends computer and wonder, what is the asnwer?  I tried living poor, and homeless, and while it is a great start, it does nothing for anyone.  Now, I can finally see why I have been reading "The body sacred".  The whole idea that resonates through the book, besides the idea to rise above the likes of Macy's Jenny Craig and Estee Lauder, is to live in a connected state.  What are we feeling now?  Why am I eating this crappy food?  Why am I so stressed out all of the time?  Why am I living in such an unhealthy state?  Why do I feel so guilty for doing something that makes me feel good, and is there any way to enjoy it?  Today, I will think about all that I have learned.  

Wow, it is noon already.  I keep waiting for the morning sun to warm up, forgetting for a moment I am in NJ and the warmest it will be is like, 40 degrees.  It is cloudy out, which is the reason for no beaming sunlight.  Well, I have a lot to think about today.  Hmm, maybe visiting that native American store might be a good thing - although, in this economy, it is a wise decision to ensure it is still in business. 

simoriah: (Default)
Just a little note to let people know that I am still alive. My boyfriend has decided to postpone going to Florida until next September. I am not arguing. Eventually, we will make it down there. I am almost out of Phase one Debt. This means all my immediate bills will be paid off as of tomorrow. Which is good. Hey, I am looking forward to going to Egypt night club tomorrow night. Well, see if I can write a longer message later.


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August 2017

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