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Work Drama )
To be fair, she was not so much pissed that I confronted him as much as I did it on "the care floor".  Because I had time to pull him into a conference room at that appropriate moment.  Anyway...she asked me what happened, and I gave my side of the story.  I walked in, she was at a meeting, Big Head asked me about taking one for the "Team", and I said, "It's kinda hard to feel part of a team that does everything to remind you that you're not a part of it."  And then it started....

Then she has the nerve to tell me that 4 other people said I just "butted" into the conversation.  And apparently she believes it because I have butted into conversations before.  While I understood that I did so-called "butt in" (why the fuck is it butting in when I do it and "joining in the conversation" when nobody else does it?) a few conversations many months ago (been working on this Aspie trait hardcore), this was not one I wanted to be a part of.  Big Head specifically asked me about it.

So, of course, I was upset.  Then she asked "Why?".  Well, DUH!  You just called me a liar without saying the word.  And well, whatever came out of it was something far more professional but, similar in nature.

My boss then realized that she has never seen me so damn pissed before.  I was agitated and I repeated, "No, Big Head is a bully."  She then took a different approach (which was good because I was ready to jump over the table and tackle her).  She asked me WHY I felt that he was a bully.  WHY him?  And I said it was the intention behind his words.  He says things and does things very maliciously.  Tho I did give him credit.  Ever since that day, he has not said one word to me :)  So my message somehow must have gotten across. :)

Then she had the nerve to ask me why I don't avoid him more.  I asked her to clarify.  Well, I walk past him on the way to my desk.  Also, one day while he was standing at her desk (a right granted only to King Big Head), I walked right past him.  She asked me "Why Did I do that?"  and I didn't understand her question.  She said, "Because when I hate someone I avoid them.  I make three lefts to avoid walking right into them.  I want to be as far away a physically possible from this person."

What I wanted to say: "Because I am not in the 4th fucking grade avoiding a boy because "he has cooties".  And the fact is, I got better things to do than play fucking games."

What I did say: "Because I don't hate him.  Hating him would mean I feel passionately about him, and I feel nothing for him.  Nothing.  At.  All." 

As I said, I give him credit.  He has not said one word to me.  And come to think of it, barely anyone else on the team has either.  It is great :).  Actually, I appreciate that more than when Big Head comes and puts his hands on my back because he knows it makes me cringe.  Or when he asks me what I am eating for the 50th time.  He only asks the two fat people about that.  Oh, and Skanky McPoopcake.  Mainly because she complains about how many fat rolls she has (she is *maybe* 10 lbs overweight.  SHUT!UP!)

So, after speaking about it with my mom, I am thinking about having another meeting with my boss about it.  I would gladly put it in an email but I also don't want to give her more "ammunition" against me.  I want to basically set the record straight - I AM NOT the problem.  If you want me to feel like part of the team, stop with the "clique" bullshit.  I am different.  Doesn't mean that you have a right to mock me for it.  Unless I can strike back.  I think the main issue may be that people seem to think I am their "friend" there. And I cannot make it any clearer.  We are not friends.  If I was your friend, I'd actually get invited to Poker nights and "Guys Nite Out" like Skanky McPoopCake and such.  But I don't.  And I don't want to be.  Don't get it twisted.  But don't bullshit me and then call me your friend.  

I do want to have a second meeting with her, I just wanted to collect my thoughts first.
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I thnk the biggest issue that I have been having is that I notice that I try to hasten nature. I guess, we all do that sometimes. Especially with such things like myspace Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube, we are all spoiled creatures now waiting for nature just to happen at the snap of a figure. And never does time work like that. I have to learn that the less SO is actually forced to do something, the more he will do it. I also think he got the shock of his life when I showed him the balances on my credit cards. Hell, I even did. Did not knolow I was that forgone. But there is still hope. I am actually not that far behind in my payments for credit cards. After the summer, and after the electric bill dies down and the cable bill and the Verizon bills get caught up. I think we will be ok, as long as SO gets his unemployment checks. At least get paid to sit home for goodness sakes. And change it out of my address; I cannot afford to lose my place over this.

OMG kill me now. GK is having a hard time breaking up with DL and now she wants me to find out if a particular ph# is my other workers, other coworker being Loudmouth McPoopcake. It is known that Loudmouth made DL question his status in his relationship. And if the two are %&$*ing, then DL's an idiot for a) sleeping with his coworker (don't s**t where you sleep and b) risking getting moved from this department. I mean, two people f**king cannot be in the same department. Well, they are not supposed to be. OMG I refused to help her. Took every bit of strength too. I love GK as a person but I need to work with DL and Loudmouth, at least for the time being. And I did this last summer by getting sucked into the drama I REFUSE to get sucked in again.

Maybe part of me does like drama. OK now I know I am crazy. It is prolly my fierce loyalty to my friends. See, before she was just a happy whore, screwing around whoever but NOW, she may be fucking around with GK's relationship. And that is just wrong. You wanna whore around, whore around with single men, or married men who intend on staying married (even that's wrong but I knoow it does happen). But for goodness sakes don't be a homewrecker, and then of all places a homewrecker for a guy you work with in your department. Oh well, maybe I am misreading the car conversation. Maybe DL wants to be single for a while, play the field. Don't blame him after 9 years but don't be committing to THAT train wreck of a whore.

The other Thing that I am understanding is that I have absolutely no respect for women who go after specifically men who are married with the intention of breaking up a family. Cheating does occur, and it is despicable, and it is wrong. But if the cheating is a one-night stand, it is still wrong. But at least the woman is not going into it thinking she will break up a family and everything will be ok.


This is what my brain feels like right now,. Not panicked. Rather it is a good feeling. Kinda like feeling like in the middle of running a marathon.

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Well, I'm just a girl, in the world, in a rasberry swirl.

Woke up this morning with my car on "E" and it don't mean enough. So, Had to stop and get a 1.25 of gas. Yes, $1.25 of gas. Not that you have not done that before!

The started to rock out to John Mellencamp and Kaylynn called to check on Ira's herbal supplier. She cannot find anyone who sells any herbal essence. Guess the economy affects us in ways we would never know. To think, I thought herbs were a recession-proof business.

SO got himself an interview. Does not seem to understand that you still job hunt after scoring an interview. I know he does not want to work for a "Regular" company, which is fine. And I don't blame him. But, desperate times calls for drastic measures. At least pick up your last paycheck for crissakes. So I can pay for my bills.

So, why is Whitey McJoker doing a jig? What causes people to do such things on spur of the moment's notice?

SO was watching the "Posiedan" adventure, 2006 version last night. It was a compromise between the horror movies with nakes chicks that Ira likes and the movies that I like. Well, it only increases my fear of traveling on a boat, in the middle of an ocean, that the boat can just fall into the sea and capsize. I cannot even look at the sea without thinking about that. There is no way I could ever ride in a submarine for the same reason. Well, I would work on these fears but honestly I don't think I will ever have the $$ to go on a cruise. And that is ok with me.

So, I been thinking about the whole Jon Gosselin thing. Tha man becomes famous for being a "Family" man, makes a lot of $$, then takes this $$ and spends it on a $1 million apartment in Manhatten, over 3 hours away from his kids. He spends his time partying up in style, overseas and spending $$ on lavish gifts for his bimbo of the week. To me, that explains a lot as to why Kate was such a "bitch". I mean, I would be if I had 9 kids to raise, one of which I was married to. I could sit and critisize her for putting her kids in front of the camera like that, and although I would bever do that myself, who am I to say? I mean, she is getting a ton of $$ from the network, that is $$ that could be placed in a college fund for the kids. I hope someone is watching out for them, and not just TLC.

SO has a job intervew on Thursday. Which means that there maybe a chance he can still go to Texas. But if he does it will be a shortened trip. GREAT! I hope that by dumb luck this job starts late Sept but I would never be that lucky. So, this means I have 8.8 days, still, to use by the end of the year. Well, I guess this works out, since we will need those 10 extra bonus days next year for moving and such.

Still trying to figure out why I still like watching the movie "Twister". I already understand the troubled souls aspect of this. Helen Hunt is a troubled soul,, and she needed Bill more than she wanted him. I guess in the movie, it kinda changes and she sees she does not need him (hence the fact she signs the divorce papers). But then you see that Bill needs her in his life just as much if nothing more, then just to harness the unique gifts he has.

I am also starting to think that Helen Hunt's character is a bit Aspie. I understand that something happened in her youth so that she would be fearful of tornadoes. Most people move on, and mayve move to an area where tornadoes are not possible. She spends her whole life obsessing about them. Not only does she face her fear head on every day, but she actually punches the core of a few tornados. Also, Bill does mention in the movie that although she is very good at chasing otrnadoes she is in fact lousy at doing every day things like maintaining a house or doing anything normal. She has to find a way to reconcile the two. Of course, one does not see this in the movie since the movie is all about Twisters, not people.

One of the ways I find it fun to get through my day at work is to try to picture the people I am talking to on the other side of the phone. Some people are nice, some people are plain evil. Most people are pissed off when I talk to them until I calm them down at reassure them that I will assist them. In this case, Heavenly Hale aka LaFawnda Jackson gave me such an attitude it was not funny. prolly did not help her causse that she lives in the Bronx, and most likely grew up there (nobody movres to the Bornx out of "Will"). I could just see her on the other end of the phone. Cigarette on one hand phone in the other. Housecoat with flowers on, rollers in her hair, with mile long fake nails. But she broke by us. Gotta love it.

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It is now 1:17 AM. I am currently doing laundry at my parents house. Alone. And I will prolly be here another 1 1/2 or so. Since I am sick of playing games on Facebook, and am in dire need of a rant session, I came on here. The perfect show is on in the background: Storm Chasers.

So, it has been no secret that SO and I have been fighting for a while. Nothing too major, just petty stuff. But I am sure it has affected my overall mood. I do my best to keep work BS at work and home BS at home; but we are all human. Add to that the fact that my workload has (I started being the main contact for Canada and UK clients along with my responsibilities as bilingual agent, PR contact and assistant queue watcher) increased but NOT my paycheck. Still, in this economy I am will aware that I am blessed to have a paycheck at all.

Work suckiness )

I was coming home from work, unwinding, since I had a pisser of a day at work.  Well, I came home to the icing on the cake.  I came home and then realized I did not have my key to get in to the apartment.  So, I called to ensure that my boyfriend would not leave work without me (Lazybum took my key since he left his over at a neighbor's home).  This was the conversation:

"Yes, hello, I would like to speak with (SO)"
"I'm sorry, SO no longer works here."
"Excuse me."
"That is correct.  Yesterday was SO' last day."

Mother Fucker!!  So he lied to me about going to work today, and then he INSISTED I did not pick him from work.  Since he does not have a cell phone, I do not know where he is.  I want to know where this MFer is RIGHT NOW.

While visiting his neighbor's house for the house keys, I kept calling home frantically.  I wanted to know what happened and now.  I managed to calm myself down enough to tell him that everything was gonna be alright and this will be a good thing in the long run.

Well, at least now I know what the Runestone was talking about during my full moon ritual.  This is great.  Unless Bonehead gets a job in the next 2 weeks, say goodbye to my long awaited Texas vacation.  You know I was on his ass last night to finish his resume and also apply for jobs.  But then I let off; for Goddess sakes, he is an adult and needs to start acting like one.

Today, a but of sunshine came through the clouds.  My friends stopped by with a fully cooked rotisserre chicken, a 5 lb bag of mixed veggies and a huge jar of my favorite salsa.  They also brought over a couch that their MIL was getting rid of.  I was happy to see her.  She was also recently in a similar system.  She was fired, and could not find a job for 11 months.  She understands.

The rest of my day was just craptastic.  SO was first arguing with me about doing something for myself; then, he asks me about when we are going fishing again (something NOT for me) and when I told him I wanted to visit a clothing store, he bitched moaned and complained the whole time.  Grrrr!  Also when we finally did go fishing, he would not let me leave him there to go pick up his daugher and her laundry.  No, I had to sit there the whole time.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Oh well, it is now 3:03 AM.  And my last load of laundry will be done soon, I hope. 

simoriah: (Default)

Today, twit said something to me today about getting "color" on my skin. I had a mild case of sunburn on my face, scalp and arms. What I actually said was " Yes, I was walking for MS on the beach."

What I should have said was, "Well, at least I did not pay $8 to look stupid!" Her dumb ass goes to the tanning salon every week to get a base burn. Stupid, I could stand over a fryolator and do the same thing.

There is another thing that she does all the time that #*$(*(%$# annoys me. The damn girl refuses to use her damn IM. She needs to ANOUCE TO THE WHOLE WORLD that she wants to talk to the young male coworkers. She needs to go and visit my worker all the time, who sits next to me, and then shove her ass right in my face. Yeah, she really is starting to annoy me, but hey! I feel better knowing full well that I am not the only one. I feel sorry for her. I mean, people at my job thinks she gave head to get ahead. I never knew anyone like that, like the stereotype ladykiller/ well, now I know women like that still exist. Oh well, gotta get back to WEEEERRRKKK!. With my non-fryolator-caused tan-burn, and my hair that is slowly being bleaches my the sun itself.

Mnetal note: Watch the Pac-Man video again. Seems so stupid, but so damn funny. Also, I was kinda offended that he purposefully knocked people over. But hey! It happened in france, so not here.

Last night, we visited mary Jane as a celebration of 4:20. I was so spaced out I could not move. It felt so good not to be able to think. Then, I got this grewat idea to look for "Sponge Bob" on the tv - he's gotta be funny at this point. It did not start out so fun - my beau forgot to leave a note as to where he was, and he did not get home until 10PM....according to him, he was celebrating 4:20 witjh his buddies in a corvette right outside the Howell mcDonalds. He's an idiot. Oh well, I don't need to visit Mary Jane all the time like he does.


Apr. 4th, 2009 01:45 am
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So, like, one of my coworkers had his last day today.  I really did not know the guy much, although he was part of my team at work for a long time.  We would exchange comments every once in a while about why a "white" girl would end up in "his" neck of the woods (he is African American), which is Plainfield, NJ  Other that that, I really did not pay much attention to him.  I put my $3 in for a party donation, and ate a slice of pizza.  Apparently, there was also a party being held tonight in his honor.  I really did not care, as I was not invited in the first place, and again, I did not know him. 

I sit next to the boss, not by choice, and I had to hear all about the party, the details, where it was and for how long.  I could have done without the talk about the incessant talk of the party.  I tried not to let it bother me, since not everyone was going.  What bothered me was not so much the constant talk of the party, which kinda was expected; it was the way that people were looking at me, and then whispering the details of the party.  As if to make it painfully obvious that someone did not want me there.  How 8th grade.

Really, all this would not bother me so much if something stupidly similar did not happen last month.  See, we do monthly birthdays rather than each individual.  My birthday was in March.  I announced on Monday the 9th I was taking off the 12th and 13th.  I made sure everyone knew this (not knowing of the party itself; we try to surprise people) so that all of my duties could be fulfilled when I was gone.  The party went on, without me, even tho normally we wait until all people are there (there were months we waited almost a week for the party).  Not only that, but the lady who puts the party together added another person's name to the cake: her friend from another department.  We all know her, since 2 years ago she used to be part of our group; but again this is not done ever.

I don't know why the party coordinator person does not like me.  I understood that she was a very nice person when we first started working together.  Her parents are not the problem, as I have met her mother and that woman is an angel for helping her take care of her son.  I really don't know what her problem is; I thought excessive weed smoking was to make a nice person. 

Oh, yes, and here is the best part:  I sit there an work and care about my job.  At least, I try hard.  People know this at work, and they don't know why I try.  She does not even try.  She plays computer games at her desk, and goes on Facebook/Myspace, and uses her cell right on the floor (not allowed in the call center).  And she does this all within eyeshot of both bosses, and nobody bats an eye!  Nobody cares and it drives me nuts!  She also used to turn a lot of work away, saying she's overloaded when she was so NOT.  But whatever, I know the grass is greener on the other side.  I am happy to be too "paranoid" to visit those sites.  I just consider it that I am expendable, and I never want to get so cocky as to believe tha they could/would/should never replace me.  Besides, I do enough stuff to cure boredom.   

I had to rant about this here, since she is one of my "Facebook"friends (I couldn't NOT add her it would look bad.  And yes, she has a good fun positive side if she did not act like the corporate bully!)

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What a day.  Where to begin.  Well, I got into a car crash.  I am physically OK, no sustained injuries.  My car has a lot of front end damage.  I have a rental that I am still trying to figure out.  Go figure, I am still trying to figure out my new car, then I get into a car wreck.

Here's the scenario: I was driving to work, a day after this huge snowstorm in NJ, and they still did not bother to plow/salt anything.  I was coming over a hill, an overpass for a highway, and I see a truck with his breaklights on.  I go to step on my breaks, and my car started to swing around.  I knew I hit a sheet of ice/snow slush and the next thing I knew, I hit a snowbank.  This sux, but I will say that I am so glad I did not hit the back of the truck.  I did not want to get a ticket/points for "reckless" driving.  I was PISSED!! since I felt that I jinxed myself in 2 ways: 1.  I kept saying I needed a day off to relax (naturally not in this manner) and 2. I kept saying that I would not go to work in the snow, because my job would not pay for my expenses if I got into an accident.  I called everyone necessary; inc parents, boss, insurance agent.  Since this is Marlboro, NJ, the police were there in less than 5 minutes.  They had to call their own towtruck, since I was in a dangerous (read:VERY busy) area.  I got towed.  My dad came to pick me up and look at the car.  Then, we went and got a rental.  Then, I went home, changed my shoes (which were all wet due to walking in snow), then went to work.  According to my insurance, everything that can be done is done.  Thank goodness for insurance deductibles.  

At first, I felt bad that even though I am a grown woman, paying all of my bills, I still depend on my dad's opinion for anything car-related.  But then I thought; so does anyone depend on any person (dad, son, husband, wife, whatever) for knowledge on anything.  So, rather than feeling immature and stupid and dependent on my dad's car knowldge, I am just thankful he and my stepmother were so calm, and so helpful in navegating the whole accident thing.  The last time I was in an accident, I was 23, and it was the near head-on collision,  Wow, it was 9 years ago, in 2000.  Weird.  When my car comes out, I will definetly bless it.  Then, I will work to get out of NJ, and any place with winter.  (j/k, only not really).


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