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It was bothering me it was bothering me all morning. I was still thinking about jyn and Cassian. Like I couldn't stop fixating on them and I get it I'm an aspie that's what I do I ruminate I fixate on certain topics and this was just bothering me. And I am overtired because I did not sleep a full 8 hours last night I didn't even sleep a full 5 hours I don't think. Anyway I'm exhausted and I keep thinking about it and I can't think of why and I can't think of why but eventually I came to the conclusion that the reason I fall in love with this love story is because he sees her as an equal. Now granted, Cassian did not see her as an equal starting off that way but the more he worked with her the more he realized that she had the same experience that he did. That she has military experience and she became one of the best soldiers for Saw Guerrera (rebel extremists) and she was only sixteen. She had the spirit of a really war-torn Soldier. Just out the attitude. So is definitely a hard-earned equality but he did finally and fall in love with her as an equal. And really that's what we definitely needed these days. Like I have to explain to a guy why my vagina does not negate any experience I may have or you know try to stuff me back in the kitchen. That just kills me. Anyway I kind of feel like a resolution in my head. Because for a while I was really feeling guilty about not finding Diego Luna more attractive than I do because he himself in any other role just didn't do it for me. He was too feminine. I guess there has to be that sort of balance where there's got to be that equality going on I don't want him to feel feminized if he doesn't want to I mean if he wants to do that I won't argue from what I understand certain men like to feel feminine I guess that's why I certain men like to use cucumber and melon type shyt that women have but who knows.

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simoriah

August 2017

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