simoriah: (Default)
Wow, what a great time I had on Thursday. I went down to the y-100
haunted woods thing. I joined my friend, "Emerald". We are both in a grieving process right now, for different reasons. Well, it felt good to let loose. I played lots of Aerosmith on the way down. You know, it is funny, when you date a very controlling man, how much you lose yourself in the process. I have a feeling that if I had been allowed time alone, I would have left Angel a lot sooner. But, I never had time alone enough to think about it. And at the time, the possibility seemed impossible. God forbid, he might die without me. Or, I without him. And I am stilll alive, thank god. And there are so many things for me to do today before I go to WORK!!. So, I had better get moving. But, at least I wanted to write and let everyone know I had a good time at the Haunted Woods.

continued

Oct. 16th, 2001 10:27 pm
simoriah: (Default)
to give me a call (read from back).. Guess what? I just practiced something called...restraint. I wanted to go to Barnes and Nobles. Then, I decided to go Friday. I want to make sure that I can pay my bills this week. Hey, Kathy is all paid off!! Then, I get to pay off Visa. Then, I am sending all my money to my only creditor - The US Loan System. They negotiate with nobody. Well, barely. Well, I must go back to parenting three dogs. My laundry is done. I got to go back to ....normal life. And believe me, I am very happy to do that.
simoriah: (Default)
You know, I will never understand my friends. They like a guy who is self-centered, egotistical, and full of himself over my boyfriend. I have no idea why. She just has this 'bad' feeling about him. My boyfriend has never used me for sex. My boyfriend has never sat there and 'bragged' about using drugs and stealing expensive Armani suits. But hey, she likes him. God knows why. No, he does not even know why.
Let's face it. I would rather sleep in my car than spend the night in my apartment with him. And I have. I have also gone on the internet and found people to spend the night with just because I hate this guy so much. I am sure that I have my reason. The fact that I belive he used my roomate for sex is definetly one of them. But, hey: she thinks he is cute. That is so sophmoric. Hey, I have never dated a guy because he was cute. Grant it, I have dated a number of men who could pass as gargoyles in order to prove this point to myself. Now, my boyfriend is quite the opposite. But at least I also know he has a good heart. I see it when he hangs with his friends. I see it when he plays with his daughter. I see it when he hangs with my roomate. Truth be told, if my roomate did not like this guy, he would just be another bad story to tell. But she likes him. My friends like him, well, most of them. And my stepmother likes him. My dogs like him. Trust me, I of all people know that I have poor taste in men, but so far nobody is complaining badly. Hey, I also admit his faults as well. He can be a bit inconsiderate (case in point: today when he took off to the Echelon mall without telling me) and impatient. But we all have flaws: we are human. Being in a relationship means being able to deal with other people's flaws and loving them anyway for being human. Well, that is my two cents for today. I think I am learning a lot about this whole love thing. Most of all, I am learning about myself.

Pinch Me

Jan. 18th, 2001 10:18 am
simoriah: (Default)
So, life for me has become an unexpected twist and turn, every bend a new adventure. Just what I always wanted.....I think. I got to meet my boyfriend's good friends, and now they stayed with us the past few nights. I am going to have to tell them to go home, three people in a two bedroom is crowded enough. Well, Kathy can't complain that we are alone anymore. It's weird though. It just feels weird. I have to get Chrystle to meet him. I mean, he is not a bad guy. He has opened up whole new worlds for me that I forgot existed. I mean, I think that I was on my way to becoming a snob. Only college kids welcome here.
Well, I have learned two things: college does not make you a better person, only a more worldly person....if you choose to be. Also, I don't know if I will ever become that quiet elementary school teacher I always wanted to be. I don't know if I want to anymore. I need a job with the public, teaching people. I know that, because I had so much fun teaching those old people about Kinko's the other day. It was challenging, keeping their attention, but hey, life is a challenge.
Also, smart is a relative thing. My boyfriend is so intelligent. It has nothing to do with the fact that he went to college for three years. You have to have it before you get in there. All the years of school will never give you intelligenge. You have to have it before-hand. It was funny, I always thought that I was stupid. No, stupid is not being diagnosed with mental retardation at 5 as I was. Stupid is not a permanent setting in anybody's life unless they choose to be stupid. I chose to be stupid for the last six months. But I also think that I needed that break from reality. Now, it is time for me not to be stupid anymore. There is no reason for it. I am 23. People my age are nursing the sick in Madagasger, or however you spell that island next to Africa. I have a wonderful family, and I want to stop neglecting them. Also, I am going to start focusing more on my spirituality. I found the other day the "Thirteen Goals of a Witch".
I want to start following them, because they are good guidelines for anyone, no matter your spiritual beliefs. Most of them, in context, have nothing to do with religion except the fact that they are meant to better themselves. And witches use their spirituality in order to better themselves in a good way without obviously harming others. This is nothing new to Christians, they pray to their God. I believe that all religions are the same, except for different little rules, and the prophet's names are different. I am going to set up my goals online in a few days, on my webpage. I am already working towards my goals, as anytime thinking about them is time spent on my goals. My first goal: to get this enormous debt off my head. Ok, it is only $1500, but it is enormous to me. I get paid enough, it will be gone in two months, tops. I'll see about the rest of them. Now, I have to go to work. WORK. Not going to play all day as my friend Roger does. Not sit and look at mold grow like my roomie pie <;)>. I could do that for free in my refrigerator. Tee hee. Make copies all day, and make work out of nothing at all. Until next time, peace, love and hair grease to all.
simoriah: (Default)
Just sitting here at work, trying to stay awake. I just had Kathy(my roomie) visit me for three hours. She is great to talk to because I can mention anything to her from tarantula pubes to the Simpsons, and she can understand my mind. Right now, I am making business/club cards. They are easier than trying to give someone your number. not that I have found anyone worth giving my card out to.
I cannot wait to get off this schedule. Maybe my brain will be able to function then. By the way, Michael was doing very funny things on Friday. I'll keep it clean and won't mention much else, except that Chris walked into my work with a megaphone shouting about a vaginal yeast infection. Well, you will be hearing fro me soon.

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