Simoriah's Sanctuary

I thnk the biggest issue that I have been having is that I notice that I try to hasten nature. I guess, we all do that sometimes. Especially with such things like myspace Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube, we are all spoiled creatures now waiting for nature just to happen at the snap of a figure. And never does time work like that. I have to learn that the less SO is actually forced to do something, the more he will do it. I also think he got the shock of his life when I showed him the balances on my credit cards. Hell, I even did. Did not knolow I was that forgone. But there is still hope. I am actually not that far behind in my payments for credit cards. After the summer, and after the electric bill dies down and the cable bill and the Verizon bills get caught up. I think we will be ok, as long as SO gets his unemployment checks. At least get paid to sit home for goodness sakes. And change it out of my address; I cannot afford to lose my place over this.

OMG kill me now. GK is having a hard time breaking up with DL and now she wants me to find out if a particular ph# is my other workers, other coworker being Loudmouth McPoopcake. It is known that Loudmouth made DL question his status in his relationship. And if the two are %&$*ing, then DL's an idiot for a) sleeping with his coworker (don't s**t where you sleep and b) risking getting moved from this department. I mean, two people f**king cannot be in the same department. Well, they are not supposed to be. OMG I refused to help her. Took every bit of strength too. I love GK as a person but I need to work with DL and Loudmouth, at least for the time being. And I did this last summer by getting sucked into the drama I REFUSE to get sucked in again.

Maybe part of me does like drama. OK now I know I am crazy. It is prolly my fierce loyalty to my friends. See, before she was just a happy whore, screwing around whoever but NOW, she may be fucking around with GK's relationship. And that is just wrong. You wanna whore around, whore around with single men, or married men who intend on staying married (even that's wrong but I knoow it does happen). But for goodness sakes don't be a homewrecker, and then of all places a homewrecker for a guy you work with in your department. Oh well, maybe I am misreading the car conversation. Maybe DL wants to be single for a while, play the field. Don't blame him after 9 years but don't be committing to THAT train wreck of a whore.

The other Thing that I am understanding is that I have absolutely no respect for women who go after specifically men who are married with the intention of breaking up a family. Cheating does occur, and it is despicable, and it is wrong. But if the cheating is a one-night stand, it is still wrong. But at least the woman is not going into it thinking she will break up a family and everything will be ok.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what my brain feels like right now,. Not panicked. Rather it is a good feeling. Kinda like feeling like in the middle of running a marathon.

I havce so much to do, so much to say, so much to clean, so much to vent about. And right now, my mind is but a blur.

Ahh that was nice to get out after stewing about this all week. Wow. 3AM. Apparently, I needed to get this out. I was dissociating too much at work, and ready to kill SO over all this inability to vent.

It is hard to vent like this at work when the one thing you were using for all of your communication was shut down, albeit willingly. I am trying to find ways to save some $$. heck I am even tempted to open a new checking account with Bank of America just to get their $100 incentive package. I read the fine print. Everything seems typical, no "Firstborn child clause" or ahnything.

This is funny to me, of course, since this is one things SO says to me all the time.  I like the fact that he does point out easier ways to do things; hopefully one day he will lose the condescencion.