(no subject)

[simoriah]

 So....I finally came up with the name for my male character.  Dean.  Strong name.  Taken from the 50's.  And since the bulk of the story may end up taking place in the late 70's / early '80's....(I toyed with the idea of this strong being a fiction story about what my true parents may have been like), Dean seemed to fit.  I was also thinking of making Dean's mother one of the bigger characters in the story.  She can be played by Rosie Perez.  Would make sense.  She would be the parent whose life was "messed up" by Dean, because naturally, in the early '60's teenage mothers were hidden away from the world.  She has spent half of her life chasing after loser men (one who badly abused Dean) and the other half, high on drugs.  Dean's Puerto Rican grandparents took care of him until they died; then he went to live full time with his mom when he was a teenager.  He didn't get much exposure to the African American side of his family.  

I can write about this guy all day.  And, in a way I guess this is good.  I am, still, worried about this meeting tomorrow.  But then again, I also understand that I am worrying for nothing.  The truth is, I try to anticipate these layoffs and no matter how hard I try, I still will be surprised the day (if/when) they come.  And I know this.  I guess I just don't want to make a scene in public.  I think I will be too shocked tho.  I may be taking the book "Surviving a Layoff" on the cruise.  But I also don't want to read it TOO much, as to bring the layoff on.  My stepmom thinks I am crazy, that there is no reason for me to worry.  

All I know was, I was crazy neurotic today.  Then, I came home and baked a cake.  And now, I feel much better.  Pissed off that a small part of the middle part of the cake fell off.  But, what am I gonna do?  I tried.