Ironic

You know, there is a saying that goes:"Scratch the skin of a cynic and you will find a dissolutioned idealist." Well, in that case, that is me. I was crying in my bed today. Actually this is a good thing. I had a bad dream that the guy of my dreams came into my life. He and I ended up hanging out in my apartment, alone, and he tried to kiss me. Nothing else, just kiss me. And in the dream, I pushed him away, saying that he was not going to use sex as a weapon against me. Then I broke down in the dream and woke up in tears. Yes, I feel that while in the short term I want these guys in my life but in the long term, I need to develop myself. Hey I went to Pearl Art and Craft today. Great selection on jewelery. I have always wanted to learn how to sew and craft necklaces. Also do clothing and stuff, because that is less expensive. Well, I got plenty of time for that and losing weight. Less talk more action on that thought. Less action for the love life. Let me have some fun this summer and then maybe I will be ready in September.