I am not in love

[simoriah]

Well, it is funny that I am noticing more and more that I am so not ready to date. Damn you Eddie you were right. Went on that date that I mentioned last article. Well, he did not call me last night. Hey he could be busy right. Also, he has nextel and that service sucks. Still no call from him tonight. Thought I spotted him online. But it was his friend who was using his name. So, I figured that he does not want to talk to me. His friend says he cannot get in touch with him either. Well it is not just me. I deleted his number from my phone. I still have it on outgoing phone numbers. But I do not want to call him all night and never reach him. It is his turn to call. He has my phone number and he is not calling it. Must not be on for Sunday anymore. 24 hours and I am already prejudging him. It is not fair to him. I should give him a chance. But I have been hurt too many times lately. Can't bear another. Just going to try to concentrate on myself and that is it. Very hard considering I want a bf but am going about it the very wrong way. Not even that I want one but I think I should have one. And that is usually when I am unhappy. I mean my eggs are drying up and everyone seems to have a steady bf that they can bring to family events and stuff. But not me. Hey nobody to argue with. But all those nasty lesbian rumors. better than being unhappy with a partner. Not that I mind dating but I would give it all up in a second for the right person. well, I am going to stay single for now. Waiting for one person to log on and guess what. They are not on. That sucks because this person logs on during the day when I am at work. Go figure. Munching on cheddairs, this is little rice cakes covered with cheddar cheese stuff. Tired as balls. May sleep out here to see if he logs on. And I just might be that desperate. Oh well. Posting soon.